The Critic Wants Me Quiet (Stifled) Limited Edition Giclee Print

About This Piece

When I was training to become a certified life coach, we talked a lot about our “gremlin,” or the Inner Critic that lives in all of us. It’s the voice that tells us we’re not enough, that we’ll never measure up, that we are inadequate and unworthy.

This voice stifles the expression of our true selves. It asks, “Who do you think you are?” It tells us, “It’s not safe–don’t try.” It wants to keep us quiet and small.

I’ve spent a lot of time fighting this voice, seeing it as my enemy–something to be resisted or overcome. But in my coaching program, we shifted our perspective on the Inner Critic.

We learned that the Critic was created with a purpose. It emerged in childhood, the first time we got the message from the world that it wasn’t ok to be ourselves and felt the sting of shame, pain, and humiliation.

Our Critic wants us to be quiet because it wants us to be safe. It believes that being authentic, speaking honestly with others, or taking on new challenges is too risky. It tries to protect us from shame and it doesn’t care if we sacrifice joy, meaning, or fulfillment in the process.

When I see my Inner Critic as a protector instead of an enemy or saboteur, I can deal with it more effectively and compassionately. I can say, “Thank you for trying to protect me. I needed your protection as a child. But I’m not a child anymore. I can handle being hurt. I embrace the risk of being myself because suppressing who I am is more painful than being criticized or rejected by others. Your help isn’t needed.”

How might things change for you if you saw your Inner Critic as a protector? What messages would you stop believing about yourself if you knew that your Critic was saying anything it could think of to prevent you from taking risks? How would you like to respond differently when you hear this voice in the future?