You'll Never Hurt Me Again (Guarded) Limited Edition Giclee Print

About This Piece

I once heard someone say, “When you get hurt, remember to build fences, not fortresses.”

We can’t escape life without being wounded. When we experience this pain, our natural reaction is to protect ourselves, and we often go to the extreme of shutting down or shutting people out. We think that if we make ourselves invulnerable, we won’t have to experience the pain again.

But we don’t escape pain by being guarded or wearing emotional armor. We simply experience a different kind of pain–the pain that comes from isolation, suppressing our emotions, and compromising our connections by keeping others at a distance. We can’t shut out of the possibility of pain without shutting out joy. We can’t avoid disappointment or betrayal without compromising intimacy.

Being vulnerable doesn’t mean that we let any and everyone into our lives, or completely expose ourselves in every situation. But it does mean that with thoughtful boundaries and discernment, we let others get close enough to truly see us. We may get hurt once in a while, but we will also allow ourselves to experience transformational love.

How are you guarding yourself from relational pain? What is your current strategy costing you?

What might it look like to let people in a little more? What conditions would need to be met for you to trust someone with intimacy?